Kentucky Derby and the Indianapolis 500 are won by Usain Bolt.

Das war das Jahr 2008 in de USA. Keine Ahnung, ob Ulrich Wickert irgendwo einen Abdöser über 2008 in Merkelland gedröselt hat.

Exzerpt:

OCTOBER

. . . Congress passes, and Technically Still President Bush signs, the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008, and everyone heaves a sigh of relief as the economy stabilizes for approximately 2.7 seconds, after which it resumes going down the toilet. As world financial markets collapse like fraternity pledges at a keg party and banks fail around the world, the International Monetary Fund implements an emergency program under which anybody who opens a checking account anywhere on earth gets a free developing nation.

The economy dominates the presidential campaign, with the focal point being „Joe the Plumber,“ an Ohio resident who asks Obama a mildly confrontational question about tax policy and within hours is more famous than the Dalai Lama. He draws intense scrutiny from the news media, which, using investigative reporters borrowed from the Palin-yeti beat, determine that „Joe the Plumber“ is in fact (1) not named Joe, (2) not a plumber, (3) a citizen of Belgium, and, (4) biologically, a woman.

… But the economy remains the dominant issue, with retailers reporting weak holiday sales as many shoppers pass up pricier gifts such as jewelry and big-screen TVs in favor of toilet paper and jerky. As the year draws to a close, the president’s Council of Economic Advisers warns that the current recession „could spiral downward into a full-blown depression,“ leaving the United States with „no viable economic option but to declare war on Japan.“

In another troubling note, US intelligence sources report that Iran is developing „a gigantic rocket-powered shoe.“

The point is, if you have any money left, you should spend it soon.

And Happy New Year.

Dave Barry is a humor columnist for The Miami Herald (McClatchy Newspapers).