GM to Merkel: „Get out of the car, bitch!“

The Opel saga gets ever more embarrassing for German chancelloress Anjie Merkel from the former GDR, a failed state. She got bitch-slapped by GM for trying to sell something she (Germany) does not own. Her pre-election ramshackle deal with Magna is yet another display of her inaptitude. German politicians are lived. Forget their ramblings against the locusts, it is now „the ugly face of turbo-capitalism“ as a certain Mr. Rüttgers put it.

It remains to be seen how many factories will be closed and how many workers laid off. Can it be a coincidence that this developed as the chancelloress was in Washington DC?!! And remember that the Economist called the Magna deal a stink.

Opel saga or the chick from the east does not count

First the Economist

On October 16th the competition commissioner, Neelie Kroes, announced in effect that she had proof of cheating. Ms Kroes, a tough Dutchwoman, said there were “significant indications” that aid promised to Opel was conditional on Magna buying the firm, and on business plans that set out where future production would be based. She invited Germany to pledge that its money would be available to any investor. The government in Berlin issued a letter saying just this.

Then the assessment in Detroit that there will be legal blood if that illegal shoved-down your-throat-by-the-German-gov Opel deal will get signed. The good thing was, is and will be: the decision is done in the US of A. And that is good.

Weak end readings

1. Put that into perspective with the German gov. Opel deal (that stinks as The Economist feels) and the latest car sales in Russia. (Economist)

2. The bubble that was Spain

3. How to run an economy. Differentiated by nations.

4. Matt Taibbi – Taibblog – In Defense of Zero Hedge – True/Slant

Hat tip Scott. „Let me just say that I’m always suspicious when I see articles about the motivations of journalists. I think they often reflect a misunderstanding of what journalism is all about. Journalists are supposed to be assholes. The system does not work, in fact, if society’s journalists are all nice, kind, friendly, rational people. You want a good percentage of them to be inconsolably crazy. You want them to be jealous of everything and everyone and to have heaps of personal hangups and flaws. That way they will always be motivated to punch holes in things.“

5. On commodity price inflation and extended unemployment (Zero Hedge)

This is similar to the Great Depression except that artificial wage inflation has been replaced by artificial commodity inflation to create the disequlibrium.  To cut rising costs, the only option is to reduce salaried employees, or shut down completely due to losses in core operations.  Rising unemployment will create further weakness in final goods.  This portends continued macroeconomic performance below trend for a length of time not seen since the Depression.  Asset prices will eventually fall to the market solution, government intervention aimed at avoiding this harsh reality will only delay the inevitable and probably assure a more painful destination in the process.

6. … and enjoy the ride before you fall out of the saddle, in case you have not already unmounted.

7. No need to have a shitty mood over za weekend. Relax, have a gimlet or three, the world’s in order

via Jesse’s Cafe Americain

8. Must Read: Kessler Commentary

Weak end reads

1. The Opel saga continues to bore because German politicians still believe they are deciding the fate of this doomed car company.

Don’t believe everything you hear, says J. Smith, group VP of GM.

2. Secret Apple app rejection code revealed (TC)

3. Rejoice all Windows 7 fucktards. Here is your personal upgrade chart. Jerk off before upgrade.

4. Oh those Goldman bitches (H/T GS666)

5. Germany’s export dependence

The presumption that what is good for exports is good for the economy partly explains why consumer spending in Germany has historically been weak. Its typical response to a faltering economy is to trim manufacturing costs, including wages, in order to keep exports keenly priced against other countries.

Psst, you there with no balls but a Manta

Yes you. Me has got a fine company for you. Unnarstand. Eva heard o’ pink sheets?! Zis is better, deeply undervalued, losses since 2003 … So it’s ze rite investment if you zink long. You know, like looong.

And u can has it together wiz government pimp money, unless you are a private equit co. Zen fuck off, because ve in Germany don likes you. You Chinese, get the fook outa here, ve hate foreigners. Fuckin’ Turks did not leave ze country ven ve did not need zem anymore.

Company built such fine hyper sports zoomers like the Opel Manta, butt of German jokes for years. Now ve is selling zis extraordinary carz company zat made consistently losses since 2003. Unfortunately, we have handled ze negotiations a little cack-handed and zis leaked out: 1.861 billion € losses which adumbrate our efforts ever so slightly. Anyways, ve vould love to develop ze Russian car market wiz our crap company. In addition ve hev an elekschon coming and our lady feels deeply wiz ze east. You may also feel reassured zat many politischons are involved in zis never ending soap opera.

No idea about Opel-Magna thingy, but…

It might be a good idea for da Germans from ze government to next time send some real hard dicks to the negotiation table and not some punk ass like Roccoponte Steinbrück and certainly no cackhanded vicar’s daughter. BECAUSE if Fiat should be approached again by Berlin, bear this in mind:

In the span of 2 days, Fiat has downgraded its commitment to Chrysler from ‘married for life’ to ‘get yourself together in 6 days or you’re toast’. Evidently the Justice Department’s delay in dealing with the pesky Indiana pension funds is starting to test Fiat patience.

On Monday Fiat’s CEO Sergio Marchionne’s response to whether or not they would walk away from a deal with Chrysler it it wasn’t completed by June 15th was emphatic

GM sendet Repo Man zu Opel

Der deutsche Steuerzahler darf sich nicht nur bei der EU Wahl austoben, nein, die „Perspektive für die Zukunft“ hat auch Repo Man angelockt.

Repo Man meint in Richtung der Schaumtreter in Berlin „Pay up or we bust your fuckin’ asses“

Das „Handelsblatt“ berichtete am Donnerstag in seiner Online-Ausgabe.

Nach Berechnungen der Zeitung wird die neue Gruppe Opel/Vauxhall bis zum Jahr 2018 voraussichtlich mehr als sieben Mrd. Euro Zahlungen an den bisherigen Mutterkonzern General Motors Corp. (GM) (ISIN US3704421052/ WKN 850000) leisten müssen. Demnach kassiert GM auch nach der Abkoppelung von Opel weiter allein 6,5 Mrd. Euro Lizenzgebühren. Unter Berufung auf interne Unterlagen der Bundesregierung schreibt das „Handelsblatt“, dass GM seiner Ex-Tochter zwar Zugang zu allen geistigen Eigentumsrechten des insolventen US-Autobauers gewährt – Opel dafür aber weiter Lizenzgebühren zahlen muss, die lediglich für eine Übergangsphase reduziert werden.

Dass in Berlin wieder einmal eine Lobotomie-Séance erfolgreich ihren Verlauf nahm, legten schon die ersten Vertrags, pardon M.O.U., Details klar. FiMi Roccoponte belegte abermals seine völlige Dilettanz. Und das Geld geht hier hin.

Opel-Magna deal not sure

According to the German FAZ the Opel-Magna deal should be finalized by September. It is hard to see what is so time-consuming in buying a car company that you were interested in for at least two months. The reason is the O-M deal is just a luke warm M.O.U.

In fact the deal is far from a done deal. According to La Repubblica:

Il governo tedesco è ancora aperto a tutte le potenziali offerte per Opel. Lo ha fatto sapere il portavoce dell’esecutivo di Berlino, Ulrich Wilhelm. „Il dossier è ancora aperto a tutti gli offerenti“, ha detto Wilhelm, precisando che le trattative tra la casa automobilistica tedesca e il gruppo austro-canadese Magna sono ancora in fase preliminare. 

Short translation is the deal is open still to any offer – apperto a tutti gli offerenti! There is more. Yesterday were talks with the Chinese:

il gruppo cinese avrebbe avuto colloqui con il governo tedesco ieri.

Opel’s future just happened?

Could this be just a coincidence or is it ominous? Four wheels off at the same time …

The German government dorks should take heart as this might also be a solution, however not exactly as intended:

Further fueling the speculation is Stronach’s comments to The Globe and Mail where he said he wants to see Opel vehicles built in Canada. Building Opels in North America means whoever wins the Saturn auction — should it continue under the bankruptcy process — can maintain the Saturn-Opel affiliation rather cost-effectively, since importing Opels from Germany may have been prohibitively expensive for a potential mass market branding.

Fortunately, a northern country remains level-headed.

Putin clarifying OPEL ownership to Merkel

Impromptu meeting between Merkel and Putin. Putin sticking it to tha Misses from Gerrrrmany.

The IMF was not attending but had this to say about the Russian economy meanwhile:

the discretionary fiscal stimulus should be curtailed in 2009, by limiting the deterioration in the balance of the general government to a still very sizable 7-8 percent of GDP, compared to the more than 10 percent of GDP currently planned. A better targeted, yet smaller, stimulus could have a similar impact on economic activity, while avoiding a permanent change in the tax and expenditure structure of the budget. Looking ahead, if a smaller discretionary stimulus is implemented in 2009, there would be scope to maintain the fiscal stimulus in 2010 if the growth outlook weakens further.

full IMF assessment