Wolfgang Porsche tried to silence Wiedeking?

Clans are dubious organizations, so Alphaville rightly asks „over what, exactly, was Porsche chairman Wolfgang Porsche trying to buy Wiedeking’s silence?“

When the Porsche clan offered a CEO that screwed a company up big time and had to go hat in hand to Qatar €140 million instead of the later agreed upon €50 million, it smells.

Prior to that a German private TV news channel was even taking of € 250 million.

Is there a connection between Porsche and Smith & Wesson?

So much going on around Porsche, the sports car company with a diesel SUV in its product line. Now allegedly, gulp, Daimler in the talks. Piech has probably already emptied one Kalashnicov in his bungalow.

But with Smith & Wesson shares up 22% I am inclined to see a connect, though it would be based solely on the scenario that Porsche’s whole board has bought S&Ws to commit joint suicide. Now that would be an end to the Porsche burlesque.

Qatar-Porsche injection in the works

The Qatari cash injection for on-the-ropes sports car company Porsche that, nobody knows why, also offers a diesel (yummy the sound) powered Cayenne, is in progress. Witnesses were impressed.

Alas, Wendelin W. was under house arrest in the sado-maso cellars deep down at VW HQ. A latex-clad septuagenarian was heard lashing around with his whip. Perhaps seeing the writing on the wall?

Porsche unveils new 911 Bank Booster model

Porsche, ably run by its CEO W.W. who hails from a small town in Germany, today unveiled an all-new model based on the very successful 911 line. The car features a revolutionary propelling system that will leave the competition – is there any? – to where it belongs, in the dust.

W.W. himself  has had quite some comeuppance of late. He started famously by jolting Porsche out of looming bankruptcy in the early 90s. Born and raised in the small town of Ahlen he soon felt that sniffing up the pants of chief of VW, Mr. Piech, did not provide him the kick he was desperately looking for.

Add to that some looks which are not exactly, well, party busting, coupled with an ego that is a tad bigger than reality permits to small-town boys and, hey, you have a the right ingredients for some  nice coverage on the Fortune front page.

W.W. tried dabbling on PartyPoker.com quite OK, yet this does not bring you close to the corporate crème de la crème. It so happened that W.W. read about such hard core sexy things as short selling and some really hard squeezes. A plot was conceived and that worked out so well until it, oops, got a little counter-productive. Kinda like sliding on a skate board down a railing and not keeping your legs closed tight. And there are caste barriers between millionaires and, yeehah, billionaires or being invited to the Italian island of Sardegna or not.

Anyway, here is introducing the new Porsche 911 KfW Bank Booster. It is especially geared towards the aspiring taxpayer and will be promoted with the line ‘Porsche – sure taking you for a ride’.

Wiedeking: „I hasch fucked up lil“

Wendelin Wiedeking, CEO of hedge fund Porsche with attached car dealership asks Kfw bank (Germany’s stupidest bank) for 2.5 billion Euro loan.

Wiedeking’s Breaking News

Beaming Wendelin Wiedeking. Later in the day someone shoved him under a passing double-decker bus. Person left the scene letting the wrapping paper of a ‘Mozartkugel‘ slip to the curbside. Police investigation ongoing.

State-capitalism and VW

When the economy of a country hinges to a great part on one industry, chances are that the government has a  big say:

Auch Niedersachsens Ministerpräsident Christian Wulff (CDU) kritisierte Porsche: „Ich fordere von Porsche endlich die Verlässlichkeit, die das Land Niedersachsen, Volkswagen und die Betriebsräte von VW immer an den Tag gelegt haben. Ansonsten ist der Sportwagenbauer als VW-Mehrheitsaktionär eine Gefährdung der Volkswagen AG“, sagte Wulff im Gespräch mit der F.A.Z. Niedersachsen ist mit 20 Prozent an VW beteiligt.

The chief of the state of Lower Saxony demanding „reliability from Porsche … otherwise Porsche is endangering VW.“ Lower Saxony has a stake of 20% in VW.

It was against the family, Wendy.

Later in the day someone in Zuffenhausen received WW’s bullet-proof vest with a fish in it.

Should Austrian charm prevail, there might be a gentle nudge towards the door.

Someone from Austria placed call from public phone booth to Bafin

Bafin had a phone call from someone with a hushed Austrian dialect.

An Austrian in Sardegna: „He might well have to climb down some steps.“

Seems like hedge funds and car companies don’t go together.

Meanwhile, Bafin is looking into the Porsche announcements regarding their VW share purchases made back then. The same toothless agency concluded weeks ago that the illegal short squeeze by Porsche was not illegal in Germany. What do you expect from a government watch dog? Still, Porsche shares down sharply.

Oh, and one more thing, the recent developments in VW/Porsche show clearly the big-time government meddling in collusion with the old time VW guard. Still nothing learned in Germany.

Qatar to buy Porsche stake?

Focus reported this on Apr. 26.

BBC World: The interest in Porsche from the Qatar government was expressed by the country’s Prime Minister, Sheik Hamad bin Jassem Al Thani, in an interview with a local newspaper.

He said talks with Porsche were continuing